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She stood out like a white flower amongst a crush of black orchids. Women in this trendy nightclub seemed to always wear black, sometimes red, but always dressed to the hilt in exotic jewelry and dosed with gagging perfume. It was like a uniform that said, ‘I fit in. I belong to this fast, hip crowd.’ Of course, Jake wore black too – a silk shirt, designer pants, Italian shoes. These days he enjoyed the illusion of fitting in, even knowing he never again would. The sense of apartness never left him, no matter how high he climbed on the ladders he’d chosen since leaving Illinois. His word was respected, possibly feared. People sought out his company. But that didn’t make him belong. It only meant he had money. Lots of it. The woman in white intrigued him. She obviously didn’t mind standing out, or else didn’t know better. She carried herself like a model, tall, slim, shoulders straight to maximize the striking curve of her figure. Her long, black hair was sleek and sexy, dropping well. “Then who told her?” I asked.“I would think that was obvious.”He was right. It had to be my mom. She was closer to Tami than she was to me, right now (again). We’d had some heated discussions about that very topic. I just added it to the list of issues I had with my mom at the moment. From time to time, I wished I could cut her out of my life like I could Alan and Tami, but you didn’t get to pick your family. If she felt my reaction was unjust, then she didn’t even care how much Tami had hurt me. Intellectually, I could see what happened. The problem was, this wasn’t some intellectual exercise. I wasn’t sure if it was a defense mechanism or not, but I had become numb as far as Tami was concerned. What I’d said last night was true: I was no longer in love with her, regardless of whether it was a misunderstanding or not.We always have a choice on how we handle things. That was one of the things I had learned during my summer on the farm. I could wallow in my self-doubt, and howl at the.
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